Tom and Santa

An interview with the guy who knows everything about Santa

Tom:  that guy looks like Santa with his read hair and beard
Me:    Santa doesn't have red hair, it's white
Tom:  the younger versions of Santa do
Me:    oh yeah, you're right. wow
Tom:  I know everything about Santa.
Me:    are you Santa?
(One of the tutors told Tom he looked like Santa Claus because he's growing out his beard)
Tom:  no
Me:    ok... what does Santa do all year?
Tom:  he vacations. he makes toys all year, duh
Me:    all by himself? does he have elves?
Tom:  yeah he has elves to help him and he tells them what to do
Me:    so he kind of has a company going
Tom:  yeah
Me:    is he really fat?
Tom:  no, he's just a big guy, really fit. he does have a belly
Me:    from eating cookies?
Tom:  yeah
Me:    how tall is he?
Tom:  6'3''
Me:    is your paramedic teacher, Brother Lewis, Santa?
Tom:  haha no
Me:    does he do crossfit?
Tom:  sometimes
Me:    is Santa married?
Tom:  duh
Me:    to who?
Tom:  Mrs. Claus, duh
Me:   does he have kids?
Tom:  yeah, well, he doesn't live forever. his son takes over, Chris Kringle (duuhhh)
Me:    how many kids does the current Santa have?
Tom:  five
Me:    what are their names? they can't all be named Chris Kringle
Tom:  no only the son that wants to take over the family business
Me:    ok how many girls, how many boys?
Tom:  two girls and three boys. the girls are Jeannie and Martha and the boys are Chris (i'm dying), Matthew and Igor. they're Danish
Me:    oh wow. what is Mrs. Claus's name?
Tom:  Martha
Me:    where is Santa's workshop?
Tom:  wouldn't you like to know. the north pole, duh!

While I'm laughing he is totally serious.

I told him I should have been writing this down so I could keep it but he told me that's against the rules. You can't write things down about Santa you just have to remember them. Then he promptly took a bite of his apple.

Other Funny Things Tom Has Said and Done that I can remember..



At dinner Tom was saying that he doesn't think we're adults yet. We're still in the young adults group. I said, "Yeah. Wait, you're 30." So he picked up his dinner plate to leave and said, "I'll show you what a 30 year old can do!" And walking away, "Clean his own plate off!"

We were talking about the Calls being in Hawaii and I said it was rainy and stormy one time when I was there. He asked me how many times I've been. Twice. Then he made a face like "I've never been to Hawaii and you've been twice!" so I said, "You've been to Japan.." To which he replied, "Once!" For two years.. not to mention we're now living on an island.

In the library I saw a girl walking down the aisle next to Tom's seat. I saw her stop before passing us with a face like she had just been surprised by something scary. Then she turned around and took a different path and I heard Tom say sorry. ??? He had thrown a millipede right in front of her! It was climbing on his desk. He went to get some paper to pick it up and throw it away after. Good boy. :)